hope floats

Today is a good day. Andy and I went to Huntsman and did the regular pre-admit check up with Dr. Grossman. Although Andy will not be admitted on Sunday to start the 2nd half of the 3rd series of IL2. We did find out that Dr. Grossman went to a national melanoma conference, and learned more about a drug that has shown a remarkable number of success in the battle against this form of aggressive cancer. We all know that we are not immortal, yet when you have been given an actual time line you tend to get excited when the experts tell you about another possible way to stay here on earth with the ones you love. I would love to give you the name of this treatment, but I can not even say it more or less write it. Plus we were not given specifics, just a little bit of hope for a new plan B. I guess you would like to know why Andy is not going in on Sunday for treatments. His labs came back showing that his kidneys are not functioning at an acceptable level to begin the treatments, so Dr. Grossman has delayed Andy's admit until next Sunday. Andy's recovery this time around has been slow compared to previous recovery times. His feeling of being extreme tired and sick to his stomach is due to dehydration and high creatnine levels in the kidneys. We were not surprised about the delay and we actually feel this will be better, and will allow Andy to have a better chance to recieve more doses. If you can not tell we are happy with this news. I hope you can tell how much the Dr.'s and staff at Huntsman really care about Andy and our family on a very real personal level. We are so thankful to them. They are always looking for ways to fight this cancer with Andy as partners in crime. We want you all to remember to keep a possitive attitude and know we love each of you and pray for you and your family. Keep up the prayers we always can use them. We really do feel your love, thoughts, and prayers. Thank you.

Tired, again

I went to work yesterday. Today I am recovering, just for the record, Cancer sucks!!! But the miracles, the blessings, the love and concern that has been showered upon us has made this a bearable, all be it not comfortable, situation. Through inspiration and people thinking of us, just this week we have had some wonderful things happen. My shed was re-tar papered where the wind ripped what we put down last fall (thanks Rob). We had a bunch of shingles dropped off at our house (thanks to the Scott Family). and some people that put them up for us (thanks Mom, Dad, and Josh.) All of this happened since Sunday. With nary a word from me. People have told me to just go sit down and stay out of the way, which right now is where I should be. But it doesn't make it easy for me to just watch others do things I used to be able to do fairly easy. Things are going well on the recovery side, I just need to remember that I got 5 doses this last time. The Doctor thinks I am crazy by going to work, but I feel like I have to do something when I feel better, and maybe getting more rest is the best answer. But going to work is sometimes more therapeutic than just sitting in a chair relaxing. You can only watch so much TV and reading is not a great option for me, my eyes don't work like they should, so reading is really hard. And at this point, my body doesn't need sleep all day and all night long. Although today I may end up taking a pain pill if the pain doesn't go away soon. I am hoping that I start to feel better sometime this afternoon. I will be taking it easy all day so I can go to work again tomorrow. Thanks, to all the caring Co-Workers, you guys and gals are awesome. We as a family pray for all of you on a daily basis. Thanks for your prayers and thoughts, may God bless you all today, and may you see the miracles in your life. Merry Christmas and have a lovely day.
Love Andy

Good morning

I woke up this morning having actually slept in my bed all night. This is boring for most of you, but for me, at this point it is quite an accomplishment. If I lay completely flat I have a tendency to stop breathing, (while I have the water weight on.) So I didn't need to sleep in the recliner. And Peggy didn't wake me up about midnight and say, "you, need to sleep in the other room, your breathing keeps stopping." At least that's the excuse she keeps giving me.
I will say I now have a lot more sympathy to the supervisors that stand around and watch people work. Whew!!! that is hard work. I watched my wife and kids dig holes and set fence posts yesterday, then went and took a nap I was so tired. It is amazing how much of a tole this IL2 puts on your body. I think it was just being upright and the little bit of walking around I did that wore me out. Recovery, like always has been slow but progressing.
Today I am finally below 240, and my legs and hands are not swollen anymore, so I guess I have gained a little weight over the last few weeks. My appetite is coming back and eating is more enjoyable than it used to be. Thanks to all who have brought in meals over the last while. They have been delicious.
All is quiet at the Layne home this morning. I can hear the second hand on the clock in the other room ticking away. The sun has yet to come up this morning but it looks like it is going to be a beaufitul day. I can hear the birds chirping through the window, and the cat wants to go out and try to eat them.
By the way, a HUGE thanks to Lisa and Georgia for helping us out with Reese, it has been a lifesaver for us here. I haven't heard from you so I assume that all is well. Anyway, I think I will be making some pancakes for the kids for breakfast. As always, Thank you for your prayers and thoughts. Merry Christmas, and have a lovley day.
Love Andy.

I may not have been totally forthcoming.

Ok, Here are somethings I didn't even tell my wife. (partly because I was not aware until later the following day.) On Monday I turned blue again, during, rigors. It seems lately that the first rounds are the most vicious. And have had a tendency (for me) to be the most dangerous. My blood pressure for the most part stayed fairly stable. I had to stop because of internal pressures on my liver and gall bladder. The weight gain I have is hard to deal with because of the pain that it causes, can't be helped other than passing it through. It is slowly coming off. I feel better today if I don't move at all, but that is one of the things I have to do to help getting the water weight gone. Movement on my part helps immensely. Thanks for the prayers and good thoughts to get me through this last series. Only one more to go before we have to draw a line in the sand and decide which is the better course of action. To proceed on this same course to no avail, or take a more drastic, more invasive, and life disrupting course. May your prayers be with us, as our's are with you. thank you, thank you very much. I can not express it enough.
Merry Christmas and have a lovely day.
Love Andy.

Today Andy called me around 6:00am, this is our usual morning talk time before the chaos begins. He is doing well, he is positive and upbeat. Around 2:30 he called to let me know they are done with this weeks treatments. He recieved 5 doses total, which is more than expected, but then you all know Andy(has to press his limits). He was really wanting to do 8 doses just to show Dr. Grossman that he could do it. I swear the more those two men are together the more I think their little boy, "I can do it better than you can" attitude comes out. Dr. Grossman will say, "Andy, if we can get 3 doses, that would be great." Andy's relpy is usually something to the effect, "If I'm down here for a week, I think 6 doses would be better." As if this is some kind of bargining/haggling item they are talking about. I am going to go down tomorrow to bring him home. He has gain 33 pounds of water and feels like the stay puff marshmellow man. There were no scares or problems this time around. The doctors/nurses were aggressive in predosing Andy before each treatment and this seems to help. I would like to clear up so things. On my post from last friday, I did mention that we needed some time to absorb info that was given to us. I feel as though I am in a more calm and understanding place and I can further explain so things. Andy and I have been very focused on these treatments to stop and reverse the growth of the tumors. The information from the scan from last week were not great. They did show growth, and this threw us for a loop. We really did not expect it, and we felt as though we were just told all over again of the statisic and real number we are facing with this cancer. Our happy place that we had been building during this last month was blown down by melanoma once again. But, yes there is a but, we are refocusing and accepting what lies ahead. This is not as easy as I make it sound. Life is never certian, but we all have expectataion and goals to how we are going to live it. At this time Andy and I don't see a clear and forward future. We are building it slowly one month at a time. Having said that, tomorrow is the last day of school for the kids, Andy is coming home (sick and bloated), and I have more time to try to get the yard to look nice for the summer. Another thing we are looking for to our vacation in July. Some month ago my sister Andee and her lovely hubby found a charitable group call Compassionate Partners. They help families with individuals of life threatening diseases to go on a family vacation. We are going to Florida, DisneyWorld, Universal Studios, Sea World, and the BEACH!! Yet, with my luck that muck flowing from the Gulf will make its way to where we will go and the beach will be closed. Pray that mother nature doesn't let this happen, I know that sound very selfish, but my kids have never seen an ocean at all. So we are all excited beyond belief. Thank you Andee, Rene, and those of Compassiontate Partners. We want to remind all of you how much we are grateful for your love and prayers. Thank YOU!!!!

On Sunday, we took Andy down to Huntsman to start the first week of the third series of treatments. This was hard on us all. You would think this would get easier the more you do this, it doesn't. Monday the started the Il2 at 1:00 pm. It was a slow start because of the lack of x-ray tech that were available. Before they start Il2 they must take an x-ray to make sure the line in okay. Things went well enough, he did have some problems with his blood pressure. They have decided to take this week slow. Possibly only one dose per day as long as Andy's body does okay. Today he had his dose around 9:30 am. We need everyone to say a prayer that the weeks and the second half of this series will reduce the tumors. Things are a bit shaking at this point and anything is much apprieciated. We love you and I will post an update tomorrow. Thank you

Not the day we hoped for

We went to our Dr.appointment today at Huntsman. The news is not what we have been hoping and praying for. The tumors have shown a slight increase in size, but show stablility. I know what you are all thinking. (Is this bad or good) Well, it is indifferent. It is not what we wanted but it is not without some hope. Dr. Grossman explained it like this. The tumors are like a ball, if you were to slice it into small sections then place them together again, then leave it for a time, then go back and slice it again, the chances are that you will not remove the same exact slice on the second time. The scan work similar to this. When you take a picture of a section of the tumor there is a good chance that it is not the same exact location as the scan before. Andy's tumor growth is measured in millimeters. Dr. Grossman said that the growth is small and still feels that proceeding with Il2 for another series is the right direction to go. So, Andy will go into Huntsman on Sunday and because of the holiday they will start treatments on Tuesday. So, many of you will have questions and the most evident is "what is next?" Next, will be the option that was not first on our list, surgery. I know that surgery seems the perfect answer, however, it holds many unknowns. We would have to go to either Texas or Maryland to have the specific surgery and gene therapy. Expensive and distant is how we view these options. Up to this point we have been able to place minimal effect on the kids and those around us. The surgery option will definetly change all of that. Please don't see this new information as negative and depressive. Andy and I have a firm faith that things will be okay, not perfect or easy, and possibly not what we foresaw. I know there is alot here in this post, and there is more that you want to know but please we ask that the questions will be limited, so we can have time to absorb what we have learned and accept each step that is placed before us. So with the memorial weekend here, we want everyone to enjoy it and not worry about or for us. We are going to bbq and have as much fun on Saturday as possible. I am going to take the kids to a movie on Monday, and we are going to live. That is exactly what we want you all to do. We also want to remember those in the armed service and those loved ones that have gone before. I hope that the rain will stay away and the sun will shine abundantly. Thank you for all you do, and please keep up the prayers they are needed and most accepted. We love you all.